Charlie Sheen wanted his employers to apologise "while licking my feet" –
but instead the actor is licking his own wounds after Warner Brothers
announced that the truculent star of its hit sitcom Two and a Half Men has
been fired.
"After careful consideration, Warner Brothers
Television has terminated Charlie Sheen's services on Two and a Half Men,
effective immediately," the studio said, in a decision that is likely to
cost Sheen tens of millions of dollars in lost earnings.
The move follows a week-long media circus performed by Sheen, after
he rejected requests by the studio and its broadcast network, CBS, to enter
rehabilitation.
Instead, the "crack-smoking,
prostitute-frequenting Mr Sheen" – in the words of the normally restrained
New York Times – embarked on a series of outlandish interviews in which he
denounced his employers, offered blood and urine samples for drug tests, and
produced a string of bombastic soundbites.
Sheen's response to his dismissal, recorded by the website TMZ,
came in typical fashion.
"This is very good news. They continue
to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the
Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of the bazillions, never have
to look at whatshiscock again, and I never have to put on those silly shirts
for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension," Sheen
said.
Scholars of 21st-century pop culture will note that "Sober
Valley Lodge" is the name Sheen calls his home in Los Angeles,
"whatshiscock" is a reference to Chuck Lorre, the creator of Two and a Half
Men, and the silly shirts are those worn by Sheen's character.
Because Sheen's contract has no "morals clause", allowing the
network to replace or sack him for bad behaviour, both sides are now gearing
up for a legal battle. If the sitcom is cancelled entirely, Warner Brothers
and CBS stand to lose as much as $250m (£154m) in revenue.
Under
his current contract Sheen would have received around $1.5m-$2m
per
episode, depending on syndication and repeat fees.
Despite his
well-publicised outbursts and lifestyle issues, Sheen maintains that he
rarely cost the studio any delays in filming. The New York Times reported
that a person who was closely associated with Sheen in the 1990s said the
actor's sheer stamina allowed him to mix work and play in ways that would
surely have immobilised others.
"He does show up," this person said of Sheen's work habits. "He
might be out until 5am, but he always showed up on call at 7."
So
far Warner Brothers has only cancelled the remainder of the current eighth
series, leaving the fate of the planned ninth series open if it can
parachute another actor into the role formerly occupied by Sheen, assuming
the legal difficulties can be solved. Rob Lowe and John Stamos have both
been touted as possible replacements.
Meanwhile, Sheen shows no
signs of slowing down. Last week he launched a Twitter account that in just
a few days gathered two million followers. On Saturday he hosted a streaming
video chat with a group of friends, entitled "Sheen's Korner" and devoted to
"winning" news. He described the event as "a disorganized random
experiment," but later called it "a train wreck".
On Monday Sheen advertised for what he called a "Tiger Blood
Intern" for his newly-created TeamSheen social media network. The job
posting reads "Do you have #TigerBlood? Are you all about #Winning? Can you
#PlanBetter than anyone else? If so, we want you on #TeamSheen as our social
media #TigerBloodIntern!"
It remains to be seen who will be
"winning" enough to get the position.
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